How to Make Friends in Paris: A New Guide by a Parisian

Drawing from my experience, I’ll share my insider knowledge to ensure you too can make friends in Paris! 

All of the photos in this article are from my personal collection.

Read on and enjoy Friendship Like a Local!

This article has lots of information. Use the table of contents to find what you’re looking for. Grab a drink or a hot beverage (like un café?) and get ready for a good read!

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How to Make Friends in Paris: 5 recommendations by a Parisian

1. International friends or French friends? 

First, what kind of friends are you looking for? The international crowd or the more challenging French people? I find that international friendship can help sharing about French culture and its difference with yours. But while living in a country different from yours, it’s part of the experience to make local friends and it deepens our connection with the country. So my recommendation is “les deux mon capitaine” (Both, my captain). Let’s get you international AND French friends!

2. Online or Offline? 

It’s an easy one. My recommendation is first online (keep it short), then offline-encounters (get to it quickly). This is what we are going to see together in this article. With the exception of “vie de quartier” (neighborhood life) where you can socialize in your neighborhood. More on this later in the article.

3. Friends or dates? 

I’ve met a lot of Americans using dating apps to date and make friends. It’s proven quite effective, whether you are in Paris for a long time or not. My recommendation is to choose what you are more comfortable with. Because in dating-apps, there is dating. And even if love is everywhere, it’s a different relationship than friendship. 

4. Sports or culture? 

I find that Paris has everything, from climbing gyms to magnificent museums. You can enjoy both indoor and outdoor sports and cultural activities. You can easily make friends with people who share your interests. My recommendation is to pick what lights up your “joie de vivre” (joy of living) and to follow our 5-step action plan. 

5. Introvert or extravert? 

Some people are more at ease when meeting new people than others. There is a wide range of people out there and a lot of variables that help us feel at ease with other people. Anyone, introvert or extravert, can make friends in Paris. My recommendation is to accept and love yourself the way you are. You can make good friends in any situation. Introversion and extroversion can influence social interactions, but they don’t define a person’s ability to make friends.

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: If, like me, you think that French people are like coconuts (hard to crack but soft inside) and Americans are like mangoes (soft on the outside, harder on the inside), then accept reality and adapt to your favorite fruit! 

How to Make Friends in Paris: 5-step action plan

Based on my observations, it’s best to have a plan for whatever you want to achieve. It can be a loose plan. It can be a very precise plan. It’s up to you! But please, have a plan! Here is the one I recommend! Tell me in the comments how it worked for you and if you need more details! I will be happy to help. 

Step 1: Visualize how you want to feel 

1. Take a piece of paper and a pencil (old school/no phone)
2. Write/Draw how many and what kind of friends you want to make: Are they French? Do they speak English? What are their main qualities? Kind, supportive, adventurous, cultured…
3. Write how you want to feel when you’re around those friends: Relaxed? Happy? Supported? Safe? Dynamic? Inspired? Connected?
4. Write a positive affirmation, such as: “I am making new friends that I appreciate a lot.”
5. Congratulate yourself and hang this on your fridge!

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: it’s important to know how you want to feel when you have friends (or when you reach any goal) because it’s the best way to achieve your goal.  

Step 2: Start by “la vie de quartier”

1. Engage in short conversations with your baker, waiter, cashier, neighbor, etc. 
2. That means that you can speak some French or that you are willing to learn some and practice OR that you can engage in English with them.
3. Everytime you see the same people, say something new, ask a new question, tell them something about yourself.
4. Little by little, you are building relationships and friendships to come. 

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: it’s easy to initiate a short conversation with a French person. You can try: “Bonjour, je ne parle pas bien français. Est-ce que vous parlez anglais s’il vous plait?” (very important to say please). If the answer is yes, you can switch to English. If it’s no, smile and go learn French!  Check our article on French for Travel.

Step 3: Join online groups 

1. Find your people on Facebook, Meetup, On Va Sortir, JumpIn!, Bumble BFF, Tous Bénévoles, MeetMeOut, Les Others, Assortickets, Airbnb experiences to name a few. 
2. Dip your toes into the online pool.
3. Level up your social game at real-life events.
4. Share your favorite groups in the comments below and let’s connect!
5. You’re a social superhero – own it!

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: you can also go to sports clubs or bars but in my experience, it’s more difficult to make connections when people are already with their friends or by themselves voluntarily. That’s why I recommend planning a meeting online first so everyone has the same expectations. 

Step 4: Contact individuals 

1. List all the groups you already belong to: e.g., alumni
2. Check the listing of the alumni of your school or former companies and contact individually the people who also live in Paris.
3. Go and read on Reddit groups like /socialparis and connect with people.
4. Contact people on Couchsurfing for a meeting (I met one of my best friends like this!)
5. Congratulate yourself and do a happy dance every time you make a meaningful connection! Allez!

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: always meet people in public settings and be careful of narcissist manipulators or creepy people. It’s a small minority of people but it’s best to prioritize your safety. A good sign of a narcissist manipulator: they always say that they are the victim. It’s never their responsibility. Run if you meet someone like that. 

Step 5: Be a good friend

1. Take out a piece of paper and a pencil.
2. Write what it means for you to be a good friend: friendship goes both ways and if it’s an intercultural friendship, there can be many surprises along the way. Nurturing a friendship is important. 
3. Share it in the comments of this article and let’s talk about it! It will be a better way to help each other than me telling you how we French people take care of our friends. 

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: if you are friends or friendly with French people, think of the coconut analogy, it can take time or feel harder at the beginning but it gets easier and people open up over time. 

How to Make Friends in Paris: 3 things to NOT do

1. Do NOT expect immediate closeness 

Quality relationships take time to grow. Remember the coconut analogy for French people.  

2. Do NOT monopolize conversations

I find that a lot of people do not ask questions. Please do. Don’t monopolize conversations. It’s like a pickleball game. Toss the ball back. 

3. Do NOT stereotype

We all have conscious and unconscious biases that can influence our thoughts and behaviors. Create an inclusive environment that values diversity.

PRO TIP How to Make Friends in Paris: It’s as “simple” as finding your people and being open and honest with them. That’s how you will build meaningful relationships.

FAQ